Adeleigh decoded

"No, I didn't lick Atticus' pacifier."
Translation: I totally just licked Atticus' pacifier.

"I only took 1 m&m." (Followed by a smirk, lack of eye contact and running away)
Translation: I totally just ate 5 m&ms.

"I only took 1 m&m...I did."
Translation: I really only took 1 m&m.

"Mom! There's a bee! I need you to kill it!"
Translation: Mom, there's a tiny little speck of something near me! And you, with your insane shenanigans and reactions to anything bug-like, have forever instilled in me to have a melodramatic, borderline crazy person response to anything resembling bug-like tendencies. Including but not limited to: a gnat, a piece of dirt blowing across the floor and the fly in the neighbor's yard air. But ladybugs and roly-polys - those are cool.

"I would like peanut butter and jelly for lunch, please."
Translation: I will eat berries, cereal bars, cheddar bunnies and drink my milk. But, I will definitely not touch that PB&J sandwich I asked you for. And if I do happen to touch it, it will only be to smear it all over my face, the couch and the carpet. And before you ask me to - No. I will not clean it up.

"I want you to lay with me."
Translation: You WILL lay next to me until I fall asleep. You will also rub my back like this...Stop. Now rub my arm. Now this arm. Now rub my back again. No not like that. Like this...

"Just go, Dad."
Translation: In the middle of the night after I have crawled into your bed, kicked all the covers off the whole family and taken your pillows hostage, YOU, Dad, need to leave so that I can have more space. Go sleep in my pink bed.

"No bumps, Mom."
Translation: In the morning after you have gotten me a cereal bar, turned on a show for me on your bedroom TV and laid back down to snooze awhile longer, you must lay perfectly flat and still for the next thirty minutes, so as not to obstruct my perfect view of Curious George. Otherwise, I will scream and kick and wake you and Atticus back up. Every. Single. Time you move.

"Don't look to me, talk to me, or sing."
Translation: I have to poop.


She thinks she rules this house...