Meltdown (noun): the melting of a significant portion of a nuclear-reactor core due to inadequate cooling of the fuel elements, a condition that could lead to the escape of radiation
.
Source: Dictionary.com
For a few minutes, I thought they would evacuate DIA because of the explosively large amount of radiation that was beginning to loom around our family.
After we checked-in, we had to use the restroom. Phaeton went first. While inside, he could hear the toddler-fueled screams that I was desperately attempting to cool off. Adeleigh was writhing, hitting, throwing my glasses to the ground. Everyone passing by stared, mouths dropped, and walked in a perfect circle, approximately 50 feet in diameter around us, as she tried to escape me and run away to IcelandAir. Phaeton came out to find a wailing Adeleigh, refusing to be held, squirming on the ground, while I stood above her trying to soothe her and convince her that there was nothing for her in Iceland.
It was his turn to try.
As I walked into the restroom, I had to fight back the tears. I felt helpless. This was so out-of-character for Adeleigh and I knew it was our fault. She was overstimulated already, and in a new environment. And I found myself panicking, dreading the next 4+ hours, wondering how we would manage this one. Then, I rushed out to help Phaeton, thankful we were in this together. We were able to distract her long enough to get through Security and onto the train in peace. Then, we approached our gate just as they were starting to board.
Unfortunately for us, the moment where you decide to teach your child about patience and waiting your turn in line, shouldn't be at the airport. Also unfortunately for us, the moment you decide to heed your friend's advice and buy suckers for your little one's flight, should also not be at the airport.
With less than five minutes to board the plane, I left a radioactive toddler with my husband in line, and scrammed into three different stores to try and find suckers. Then, a lady pointed me to the Candy Shoppe, an obvious site for suckers, right? Not at DIA. All they had were the huge rainbow lollipops you see in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, and See's chocolate/vanilla/espresso suckers. I bought a rainbow one and a chocolate See's sucker. Then, despite the fleeting thought that I would "accidentally" miss this flight and meet my family in Tampa, I rejoined the nuclear-reactor core a.k.a. Adeleigh.
We boarded the plane - the middle of the plane. When all of the people who surrounded us, paid hundreds of dollars for a nice, relaxing 3 1/2 hour flight across the country, they really had no idea what they were getting themselves into....
The first hour was perfect. Adeleigh did great during take-off. In fact, she helped calm me and my flying nerves. I gave her the chocolate sucker and within 5 minutes, Adeleigh and the entire space occupying 22 D, E & F had a thick layer of sticky, brown goo coating it. Then, when electronics could be turned back on, we pulled out the laptop and an Elmo DVD. That lasted for a few minutes, until she started ferociously banging on the keyboard. She managed to turn the volume up to the maximum setting during a scene where Elmo and all of his friends ferociously banged their cymbals together. How embarrassingly perfect that was. So, we shut it off.
Next, she made friends with the mother that was sitting behind us and somehow managed to acquire an entire bag of Chex Mix and Pretzel M&M's one mouthful at a time. (Don't worry: We bought the mother and her children some to replenish their supply.)
Then, she sweet-talked the Flight Attendants into letting her roam about the cabin when the "fasten seat belt" sign was turned off. She made friends with the entire back-half of the airplane and showed everyone her new pink shoes.
Then, the "fasten seat belt" sign was illuminated and everyone was instructed to return to their seats as soon as possible. We walked Adeleigh back to our chocolate sucker-covered row and tried to buckle her back into her seat.
Not happenin', Mom & Dad. Not after I just made 30 new friends that really like my shoes.
You remember that nuclear-reactor core meltdown that happened all throughout DIA earlier? Take that, but confine it to a 2-foot by 4-foot space in Row 22 D, E & F of an Airbus 319, 30,000 feet in the air.
Completely. And utterly. Catastrophic.
......
Still going.....
.......
Not done yet.....
.......
Then, we tried the rainbow lollipop. She hucked it directly onto the dirty floor.
.......
Here we go again.....
.......
.......
Approximately one hour later -
She fell asleep on the floor, underneath the chair in front of her own.
Immediately following the mid-air nuclear meltdown, everything on the plane went silent.
Then, Phaeton and I began celebrating our survival. We laughed. We cried. We hugged. We whispered to each other all of the things we wanted to accomplish together, now that we were given a second chance at life - so long as none of them required boarding an aircraft.
And even though the "fasten seat belt" sign stayed on for the remainder of the flight, Adeleigh's 30 new friends, plus everyone else on the plane, were smart enough to keep their mouths shut and let the youngest member of United Flight 349 do whatever, the hell, she wanted.
After we checked-in, we had to use the restroom. Phaeton went first. While inside, he could hear the toddler-fueled screams that I was desperately attempting to cool off. Adeleigh was writhing, hitting, throwing my glasses to the ground. Everyone passing by stared, mouths dropped, and walked in a perfect circle, approximately 50 feet in diameter around us, as she tried to escape me and run away to IcelandAir. Phaeton came out to find a wailing Adeleigh, refusing to be held, squirming on the ground, while I stood above her trying to soothe her and convince her that there was nothing for her in Iceland.
It was his turn to try.
As I walked into the restroom, I had to fight back the tears. I felt helpless. This was so out-of-character for Adeleigh and I knew it was our fault. She was overstimulated already, and in a new environment. And I found myself panicking, dreading the next 4+ hours, wondering how we would manage this one. Then, I rushed out to help Phaeton, thankful we were in this together. We were able to distract her long enough to get through Security and onto the train in peace. Then, we approached our gate just as they were starting to board.
Unfortunately for us, the moment where you decide to teach your child about patience and waiting your turn in line, shouldn't be at the airport. Also unfortunately for us, the moment you decide to heed your friend's advice and buy suckers for your little one's flight, should also not be at the airport.
With less than five minutes to board the plane, I left a radioactive toddler with my husband in line, and scrammed into three different stores to try and find suckers. Then, a lady pointed me to the Candy Shoppe, an obvious site for suckers, right? Not at DIA. All they had were the huge rainbow lollipops you see in Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, and See's chocolate/vanilla/espresso suckers. I bought a rainbow one and a chocolate See's sucker. Then, despite the fleeting thought that I would "accidentally" miss this flight and meet my family in Tampa, I rejoined the nuclear-reactor core a.k.a. Adeleigh.
We boarded the plane - the middle of the plane. When all of the people who surrounded us, paid hundreds of dollars for a nice, relaxing 3 1/2 hour flight across the country, they really had no idea what they were getting themselves into....
The first hour was perfect. Adeleigh did great during take-off. In fact, she helped calm me and my flying nerves. I gave her the chocolate sucker and within 5 minutes, Adeleigh and the entire space occupying 22 D, E & F had a thick layer of sticky, brown goo coating it. Then, when electronics could be turned back on, we pulled out the laptop and an Elmo DVD. That lasted for a few minutes, until she started ferociously banging on the keyboard. She managed to turn the volume up to the maximum setting during a scene where Elmo and all of his friends ferociously banged their cymbals together. How embarrassingly perfect that was. So, we shut it off.
Next, she made friends with the mother that was sitting behind us and somehow managed to acquire an entire bag of Chex Mix and Pretzel M&M's one mouthful at a time. (Don't worry: We bought the mother and her children some to replenish their supply.)
Then, she sweet-talked the Flight Attendants into letting her roam about the cabin when the "fasten seat belt" sign was turned off. She made friends with the entire back-half of the airplane and showed everyone her new pink shoes.
Then, the "fasten seat belt" sign was illuminated and everyone was instructed to return to their seats as soon as possible. We walked Adeleigh back to our chocolate sucker-covered row and tried to buckle her back into her seat.
Not happenin', Mom & Dad. Not after I just made 30 new friends that really like my shoes.
You remember that nuclear-reactor core meltdown that happened all throughout DIA earlier? Take that, but confine it to a 2-foot by 4-foot space in Row 22 D, E & F of an Airbus 319, 30,000 feet in the air.
Completely. And utterly. Catastrophic.
......
Still going.....
.......
Not done yet.....
.......
Then, we tried the rainbow lollipop. She hucked it directly onto the dirty floor.
.......
Here we go again.....
.......
.......
Approximately one hour later -
She fell asleep on the floor, underneath the chair in front of her own.
Immediately following the mid-air nuclear meltdown, everything on the plane went silent.
Then, Phaeton and I began celebrating our survival. We laughed. We cried. We hugged. We whispered to each other all of the things we wanted to accomplish together, now that we were given a second chance at life - so long as none of them required boarding an aircraft.
And even though the "fasten seat belt" sign stayed on for the remainder of the flight, Adeleigh's 30 new friends, plus everyone else on the plane, were smart enough to keep their mouths shut and let the youngest member of United Flight 349 do whatever, the hell, she wanted.
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