Daughter of the Year

Today was not one of my finer days of being a Mom. I blame it on feeling 92 weeks pregnant with excruciating leg cramps and feeling like everytime this baby moves inside of me, a watermelon is going to fall out. Meanwhile, I'm also trying to entertain a rambunctious 3-year-old who refuses to nap while my husband is away at work. All I want to do is sleep. But, I would also settle for going into labor so that the watermelon pain would soon subside.

So this afternoon, I had a pregnant Mommy temper tantrum, and unnecessarily sent Adeleigh to "the naughty step". And then I broke down. I didn't know for sure if I was crying because I was in so much pain, or if I was pregnant, or if it was because I felt awful for having snapped at her, or if I was frustrated, or if I just needed a good cry, or all of the above. But my little girl sensed that I needed something and got herself up from the naughty step, walked over to me with a tissue and wiped away my tears. "Mommy, don't be sad. I want you to be happy right now. Do you need a hug and a kiss?"
"Yes, sweetie. I need a hug and a kiss."
She gave me the sweetest hug and kiss, another hug and kiss, wiped away more tears and threw the tissue away in the wastebasket. "Are you happy now?"
"Yes, Adeleigh. Mommy is very happy because of you. I just don't feel well. But, I'm very sorry that I yelled at you."
"That's okay, Mommy. I love hanging out with you. Don't be sad."
I felt a slew of emotions, more happy than anything, and the tears just kept coming. I tried explaining to Adeleigh that I wasn't sad, but that now I was crying because I was happy.
A few minutes later, Phaeton called on his way home from work. In the middle of our conversation, Adeleigh grabbed the phone from me and told him, "Daddy, Mommy is very sick and sad. But, I will take care of her and make her happy again."
So, after a day of questioning myself and how I would ever survive as a momma of two, let alone a momma of one and a watermelon protruding from my stomach, I suddenly realized that everything will be just fine. I'm sure there will be difficult days ahead. And I'm sure that I will have some additional not-so-fine Momma moments. But today, when I was quickly reminded of the innocence and pure, unconditional love that emits from my little girl's heart, I realized why I was so overcome with emotion. I realized that all of the moments and memories, all of the overwhelming feelings and emotions, all of the learning and growth of the last three years that we've shared with Adeleigh, are about to be multiplied.
And I feel ready. Not just physically ready, but for the first time, really ready for this next chapter in our family. So, while today didn't go as ideally as I would have liked, I think I needed today to happen the way it did so that I could get there.

Photo by Jessica Loucks