Me: "Okay, Adeleigh. Time to get dressed. Go ahead and pick out your clothes. Let me know if you need help."
Adeleigh: "Mom, I need you to help grab what I pick out....I want to wear this sweater under a t-shirt."
Now, I am all for allowing my child to pick out her own clothes, no matter how mismatched, or worn, or out of season they may be. But sometimes, I have my limits...
Me: "Adeleigh, this sweater is too bulky to wear under a t-shirt. I don't think you would be very comfortable."
Adeleigh: "Mom, I will wear what I want. I am wearing this sweater under a t-shirt. The way Daddy does."
I was trying to remember the last time Phaeton wore a sweater under a t-shirt...
Me: "Oh, do you mean how he always wears a t-shirt under a sweater? You can do that! Which t-shirt do you want to wear under this sweater? I'll grab it for you." I assumed we were on the same wavelength...
Adeleigh: "No! Mom! I want to wear a sweater under a shirt! I will wear whatever I want to wear!"
I took a deep breath and had one of those moments that later became a "wish-I-could-have-a-re-do-because-I-don't-need-to-have-this-battle" moments. I grabbed 2 sweaters and 2 t-shirts, laid them out on her bed and said, "Adeleigh. We don't wear sweaters under t-shirts. We wear t-shirts under sweaters. That's more comfortable and makes more sense. You can pick which t-shirt you want and which sweater and then find a pair of pants. Let me know if you need help."
She got dressed on her own and we went downstairs to play. About fifteen minutes later, she looked at me with tears in her eyes, "Mom, you really hurt my feelings."
Me: "Oh no, Adeleigh! What did I do?"
Adeleigh: "Upstairs, you wouldn't let me wear the sweater like I wanted to. That really hurt my feelings."
Me: "Adeleigh, come here." I sat down on the ground near her. "I am sorry I hurt your feelings. And I am sorry I said that. What can I do to help you feel better?"
She came over and sat on my lap.
Adeleigh: "Give me a hug." I gave her a big hug. Then she said, "And don't do it again."
I smiled. I realized how grown up my little girl is and how I shouldn't have cared so much in that moment about what or how she wanted to dress. And in a moment where I was trying to teach her something that wasn't necessary, she ended up teaching me something way more valuable.
:)
I love my little 4-year-old firecracker, style and all -
(Taken last summer before a walk to the park)
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