Horror Story

After a 10-year horror movie strike, I allowed American Horror Story to come into our home.
Biggest. Mistake. Ever.

Phaeton - "So, I'm going to watch a really scary show. If it freaks you out too much, just tell me to turn it off and I'll watch it when you're not here."
Me - "What is it?"
Phaeton - "American Horror Story."
Me - "You can watch it. I'm not really paying attention."

Twenty minutes later -
Me - "!@#$%^&*(!! Holy m$#@#!. This show is messed up."
Phaeton - "Do you want me to turn it off?"
Me - "Ummm...let's just see how the rest of it goes."

Two episodes later -
Me - "Let's watch another one."
Phaeton - "Bedtime."
Me - "Fine. Where's the nightlight?"
Phaeton - "No, don't turn any lights on. I can't sleep with the lights on."
Me - "I'm watching horror shows with you. You owe me. We're sleeping with the lights on."

Five days and eleven episodes later -
Phaeton - "!@#$%.....This show is really messed up."
Me - "I'm done. I can't watch it anymore. It's too disturbing."
Phaeton - "We only have one episode left! You really don't want to finish it with me?!?!"
Me - "I haven't watched horror movies in ten years. I haven't needed a night light in over twenty years. It's been years since I've slept with my head under the covers. I've started doing all of that in the last five days again. I don't want to start getting night terrors like I did when I was little too.....I can't watch it anymore."
Phaeton - "I bet we watch it tomorrow night."

I turned the night lights on and we kissed good night. Phaeton began snoring within seconds. He has that amazing gift. I, on the other hand, couldn't close my eyes. I was too freaked out. I saw a faint light coming from above the covers, so I peeked. The television set was turned on. I stared at it blankly, completely confused at how that happened. Then, it turned off. The remote was sitting on the bedside table.
True story.

I freaked.
Me, shaking my husband awake - "Phaeton! Phaeton!"
Phaeton - "!@#$%  What?!"
Me - "The TV just turned itself on and off."
Phaeton - "Honey. No it didn't. Go to bed."
Me - "Seriously, Honey. I'm not making it up."
Phaeton - "Nubi did it."
Nubi, our cat, sound asleep across the room - "Prrrrrr..."
Me - "Sweetie. Seriously. I'm freaking out right now."
Phaeton - "Honey, go to bed!"
Me - "You don't believe me, do you?"
Phaeton - "Well, I saw someone standing next to the TV, but I thought that was you..................[pause]..................Tee hee hee....."
I shoved him in the arm.
Me - "Not cool."
Phaeton - "Yeah, but that was funny."
Me - "Not really. How are you not freaking out right now?"
Phaeton - "Because it was a nice ghost...And he was probably bored, so he wanted to watch a show. But nothing was on. So he turned it off.....[then Phaeton put two earplugs in]....Good night!"
______

I love my husband a lot. But not enough to watch horror shows with him...Ever. Again.

Back on strike.

Networking & Vinegar

Last week I attended my first networking event for my job. Leading up to it, I was nervous. Networking is hugely out of my comfort zone and I was doing it solo, so I sought out a few words of encouragement from fellow team members.
"You're going to do great!"
"Don't feel like you have to walk away with a ton of business cards or a ton of new contacts."
"It's okay to be a wallflower and let people approach you first."
"This will be a great start to getting you more comfortable."
.....
I walked in, grabbed the first open seat at a table of other young professional women and was instantly greeted by the gal I sat next to. I introduced myself and told the ladies who I was and what I do. They did the same. We helped ourselves to some food. I exchanged business cards with the girl sitting next to me. Then the presentation started.

In the middle of the presentation I remember thinking, I'm doing just fine! This is fun! I was proud of myself for branching out of my comfort zone for a little while. And it was nice to break away from the office for a bit. Then, I started telling myself to not do anything embarrassing. I was sitting toward the front of the room and the way my chair was positioned, everyone in the room had a clear view of my seat. I picked up my water bottle, took a swig, and I thought, That would be such a "Heather thing" to do if you dribbled water down your face right now...Don't dribble water down your face right now, Heather.
...
Success.
I went to set my water bottle back down on the table. That would be such a "Heather thing" to drop your almost full water bottle all over the table right now...Don't do it!
...
...
...
...
"Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean....Oh my gosh, how embarrassing."
Girl sitting next to me - "Oh no. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Really. No big deal at all."

No, I didn't dribble water down my chin. No, I didn't spill my water bottle all over the table, or all over the girl sitting next to me.
But, as I was pulling my arm back from successfully putting my water bottle down, I "successfully" knocked my plate of half-eaten salad directly upside down onto my suit jacket. Not only was salad and dressing all over me, all over my chair, and all over the floor, but I had spilled salad and dressing all over the girl sitting next to me's ridiculously nice, expensive purse.

That was such a "Heather thing" to do.

But, on the bright side -
It was a good event and gave me some good networking experience. And at least I walked away with a business card. If nothing else but to send the girl sitting next to me an apology email for making her nice, expensive purse smell like vinegar.

Auld Lang Syne

It's 11:15pm, New Year's Eve and my husband just brushed his teeth and crawled into bed.

Me - "What are you doing?"

Phaeton - "I'm going to bed."

Me - "Wait, what? It's New Year's Eve! You're not going to stay up with me?"

Phaeton rolled his eyes, whispered expletives under his breath and stood back up.

Me - "hee hee hee"

Phaeton - "Fine. But we're watching Avengers."

~

I think 2012 was a trying year for many. We definitely had our struggles. But it's been a year of fun, with those we love; and a year of growth, individually and as a family.

Here are a few things we've learned this year -

Adeleigh learned yoga.

And started teaching it.

We learned that onions have purple flowers.

And you don't need toys when you have leaves.

We love leaves.

I learned that the holidays are much more fun with a child around.

And that some of the best moments are captured in your jammies....

...Or maybe at the toy store...

~
We may be finishing the year out with Kleenex up our noses and the smell of cough drops on our breath, but I feel positively about the year ahead.

Auld Lang Syne, 2012. It's been fun.

And they meet

Merry Christmas!

Love, Adeleigh & Kris Kringle

Let's go do something really good

The night of the Newtown tragedy, our family went out to eat. As we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, Adeleigh approached a young boy, smiled and waved at him. He looked up at me and smiled, "She's really nice."
"Thank you. You're really nice too."
"Thanks.........So, my mom was just telling me about the school shooting that happened today."
"Yeah. That's really sad, isn't it."
"Yeah......She also told me about Mitzvahs."
"Oh? What's a Mitzvah?"
"It's a Jewish thing. It's when something awful happens and then you go out and do something really good for the world."


Good idea.

Shouldn't

I can't bring myself to do it - to watch the news. Normally, in times of tragedy, my eyes are glued to the TV, waiting to hear the latest updates.
But, this time.....is different.
When I first learned about the Connecticut tragedy, my heart (physically) hurt. I hung up the phone, put on my coat, left work and called daycare.
"I know she's just fine, Breena. But I just heard about the news and I need you to tell me, 'she's just fine'."
I ended my voicemail and sat in silence in the car until she called me back.

I see the list of victim's names. I see photos and posts about those who were lost. More than anything else, I see the articles and posts about gun laws....
I can't hear about this and help but think that clearly, something is corrupt. We shouldn't have to fear going about our daily lives. We shouldn't have to fear allowing our children to go about theirs. We shouldn't have to feel like our best and safest defense is arming ourselves with (and against) the very thing that we fear.
We shouldn't have to fear one another.

Yet, so many of us do. And yet, tragedies like this keep happening. And the unthinkable just keeps getting more and more.....real.

My heart hurts for those families. My heart hurts for those living with the memories, with that fear, with that sadness. And more than anything else, my heart hurts that too many more parents don't get to snuggle extra close to their little ones tonight.

Someone

This week,

I was reminded of how much I dislike ironing.
I learned that I do deserve to buy myself a new scarf this winter.
I learned that my daughter likes to floss her teeth more than she likes to brush them.
I was introduced to gluten free pumpkin chocolate chip muffins.
I gained 5 pounds.
I learned that Adeleigh is capable of staying at our table while we're out to dinner.
I discovered that there is a sippy cup that doesn't leak.
And this week,
I learned how fragile life can be. And that someone, or some few, really are watching over us.

I'm hugging my husband extra close these days.

When life hands you a booger

sometimes you just need to pick it -

Photo by Jessica Loucks

One more?

This evening, we promised Adeleigh we would go to the toy store a.k.a. Barnes & Noble if she stopped whining. Conveniently, after 3+ hours of whining, she stopped.

After a few minutes of playing with the train set, we heard Christmas carols coming from across the store. Adeleigh dropped Thomas the Train, turned to us, and with wide eyes shrieked, "Follow me!" She ran to the opposite end of the store. When she found a resting spot with a perfect view of the Colorado Youth Chorale, Adeleigh grew the biggest grin. She started singing along and swaying back and forth. Then, the lady sitting next to us gave her some jingle bells to play with while the choir sang. Adeleigh's grin grew wider. After each song, Adeleigh would turn to me and ask, "Mommy, one more?" And I'd reply, "Yes, Adeleigh. They are going to sing another one."
Then the Choir Director announced their last song of the evening. Adeleigh played her bells throughout and when the singing was complete, turned to me.
"Mommy, one more?"
I replied, "You know what, Adeleigh? They are all done singing for the evening. But, wasn't that fun?"
Adeleigh's response, "One more?"
"No, Sweetie. They're all done for now."

She didn't like my answer. So, she decided to take matters into her own hands. I have never seen a 2-year-old jump down from her chair so fast. She walked right up to the front of the choir, stood in front of a group of giggling girls and asked, "One more?"
One of the gals announced, "Okay, we're singing one more song for this little girl! What song would you like?"
Adeleigh rang her bells.
"Jingle Bells it is!"
And the singing resumed, while Adeleigh excitedly rang her bells.

I'm officially in the Holiday spirit.

Thankful for this

In preparation of Thanksgiving, I've been reminded of all I have to be grateful for.

I have a wonderful family, the best (and coolest) friends a girl could ever ask for, and a pretty awesome new pink hair dryer. Though it's small, my family has a roof over our heads. And though many of them are either worn or affordable, we have clothing on our backs. If there's one thing we let ourselves splurge on a little, it's food for our bellies. And while it can get a little stressful and hard to juggle at times, we both have jobs that we love.

We didn't achieve all of the goals we set out to accomplish this year, but we've made quite a bit of progress. We lost a dear loved one, but we know that she's not far away. We've had a few setbacks, a few struggles, a few disappointments. But there is so much to be thankful for.

In thinking of this moment, of all that I have surrounding me, I'm just feeling very grateful for this - for now. For everything that has happened that has led me to this moment - and to this one-

I think of all that I have experienced in my 28 years of life - from childhood to college to marriage to motherhood. So much change, so much discovery, so much heartache, and so much happiness throughout. Each moment of the last 28 years has shaped who I am. Every passing minute shapes who I am becoming. Sometimes I look back to all of those defining moments of my life, to all of those unplanned bumps in the road, and sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if [insert defining moment] hadn't happened, or if I had done it differently. And without fail, I'm brought back to today - to now - to my daughter singing songs while painting the coffee table with her markers - to my husband grinding coffee and talking about how much he loves his slippers - to the dog with a sensitive diet, patiently waiting for someone to drop something yummy onto the floor - to the cat scratching the upholstery off the recliner that my parents loaned us....

And though that last one makes me crazy sometimes, and though it may not be easy or perfect all the time -

I'm thankful for this moment - 

and this one - 

Because it feels pretty close to perfect to me.