I could never survive in the wild

Our power went out last night. And it scared the daylights out of me. I was writing on the computer with the dimmer on overhead, night light on in the kitchen and it just went black. Everywhere. The whole complex lost power. It was like a scene from the scariest movie I'd ever seen. I couldn't see anything. Even as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, the stars outside barely lit the cars below. I was afraid to move, so my instinct was to just start yelling. I obviously didn't consider the sleeping baby in the next room. It was all about finding Phaeton at that moment and making sure the guy with the knife and scary mask didn't find me first. I yelled louder for Phaeton until all of a sudden I heard him shooshing me from 3 feet away. "Seriously? I'm right here. You're going to wake up Adeleigh."
"I'm scared. The power's never gone out on me before."
"It's cool. It's like we're camping. Grab the flashlight."
"I'm too scared to move. You grab it."
(Sigh) He brought me the flashlight and I went and did the one thing you're not supposed to do in a power outage - I opened the fridge. I stood there with it wide open and asked, "What if all the food goes bad?"
"Well, it will if you do that. Shut the door. It'll stay cool enough inside for awhile if you just leave it shut."
"Oh, okay."
Then Phaeton reminded me about a solar flare that's affecting satellites and wondered if that might be what's causing the power outage. "Oh, and there's a New Moon tonight."
"Oh great. So you're saying this is the end of the world? Are we going to collide with the sun tonight?"
"No, that's supposed to happen in December. We'll be fine until then. This is something else."
Great.
I took the flashlight and went to go check on Adeleigh, who of course, was sound asleep. It was eerily silent in the bedroom with the humidifier and fan off, so I turned on the stuffed sheep noise-maker we have. I put it on the River setting. Now it really sounded like we were camping. I pulled the candles down from the closet just in case Phaeton would need them to get ready in the morning. We decided to try and go to sleep.
Just as we were starting to doze off, the smoke detector in the hallway started beeping. Not in a frightening, There's a fire! sort of way. But in an annoying, You're not getting any sleep tonight because I'm going to randomly freak out until the power comes back on, sort of way. Phaeton got up and shut the bedroom door to try and quiet the noise. Finally, we started to doze off again. Then we heard a loud bang on the bedroom door.
I clung onto Phaeton. "What was that?"
"I dunno. Maybe one of the pets."
I grabbed the flashlight and hesitantly opened the door. I found Rico cowering in the hallway. He must've tried to come in but couldn't see the door shut and slammed right into it. This whole power outage was throwing off everyone's mojo.
That reminded me of a time growing up in Colorado Springs. I was playing in the back yard and went to run inside. I saw the sliding glass door open but what I didn't notice was the screen door still shut. I kept running and barreled right into the screen. The force of the impact knocked the screen off its hinges and gave me a bloody nose. The screen door never worked the same for the remaining 12 years we lived in that house. And I never ran inside from the yard again.
Fortunately, Rico and the bedroom door were unscathed by the collision. I think it just shocked the poor dog. I let him in so he could join the rest of the family in the bedroom.
Just as I was contemplating what food I'd need to replace in the refrigerator, the power came back on. The fan, the night lights, the clocks. I think the power was off for an hour, at most. And we didn't collide with the sun. And we don't really think we will in December either. But for now, I'm just grateful that the TV is working so I can watch The Bachelor tonight.

The "Coming Home" outfit

I was reading an article today about a Mom who spent countless hours choosing what outfit her new baby will come home from the hospital in.
Some advice I would like to offer to new moms who are getting prepared for this exciting event as well -
One: Don't spend hours choosing an outfit to bring your baby home in. Use that time to sleep.
Two: If you do spend hours choosing the perfect outfit, might as well spend a few more hours choosing a second outfit, just in case your experience goes like ours did...

~~~

In the moments leading up to our grand exodus out of the hospital, we spent 30 minutes getting Adeleigh dressed in the yellow onesie and bow that I had spent hours deciding upon and had especially picked out for her first introduction to the outside world.

There's a screaming baby under there.

Peace for now.

Our nurse wheeled me outside while Phaeton ran to get the car. Right when he pulled up, I felt something happening on my arm. Adeleigh had her first explosion right on me. She must've gotten so excited to see the sun for the first time that she wanted to share it with the world, or at least share it with my arm. I mean, I was excited to see the sun for the first time in days too, but I didn't need to announce it, at least not that way.
I asked our nurse what to do. She just laughed. I asked Phaeton what to do. He said, "I guess we just go home." Right. I asked our nurse to come with us and show us what to do once we got home. She just laughed again. I guess we had to figure this one out on our own.

~~~

Three: No matter how much you're paying for excellent post-baby nursing care, nurses can't come home with you, no matter how much you beg.

What makes me smile

When Adeleigh dances to the beat of the coffee grinder.

When I say, "Hold my hand." And she reaches her chubby little hand into mine.

Upon entering daycare, seeing my baby run over to the slide, climb up and ride down like one of the big kids. (This also makes me teary, realizing how big my baby is getting.)

When Phaeton reminds me, after watching the latest episode of New Girl, that he used to have, and really misses, his fur-lined driving moccasins and that he "bought them special."

The cereal trail that starts at Adeleigh's face and runs all over town.

When she sees us starting Yo, Gabba Gabba! on Netflix and she throws up her arms and cheers.

The Yo, Gabba Gabba! episode featuring Jack Black.

Finding a really good deal on diapers.

Accomplishing one of my New Year's resolutions 15 days into the New Year.

Adeleigh's impression of what a monkey says.

In her play garden, when Adeleigh peeks at me through the open mailbox.

In her play garden, when Adeleigh blows raspberries at me through the open mailbox and giggles at my reaction.

When Daddy is snoring on the couch, Adeleigh sneaking up and screaming in his face.

Helping my 1 1/2 year old walk up the 2 flights of stairs to our front door. (Even if it takes us 15 minutes.)

The look she makes when I've asked her not to do something.

Hearing Adeleigh babble on the baby monitor.

Every morning, waking up to her peeking up over her crib and pointing her finger my direction.

When I point my finger to touch hers, hearing her giggle.

Watching her try to hold 2 stuffed animals, her bedtime story, her bottle of milk, and her paci all at one time. Dropping them piece by piece and repeatedly picking them up, trying again and again until she & all her gear makes it over and onto my lap.

When Phaeton and I reminisce.
The other night he reminded me of a time when he was "courting" me (as he calls it). He was peacefully sitting on the futon in my old apartment watching a show. I came running from around the corner, intending to leap onto the futon and snuggle up beside him. As I was jumping, my foot got caught under the armrest. Mid-fall, I started screaming and I face-planted on the futon beside him. So, instead of leaping gracefully into my boyfriend's arms, I came at him, a screaming bat-out-of-hell, and scared the daylights out of him. I remember him yelling explitives and his look of horror as I landed. I remember me crying - One, because my cool trick didn't go as planned; Two, because my face hurt. We still snuggled, but with a frozen bag of peas between us.

Here's a picture from the earlier days in our relationship that makes me smile -

You know what else makes me smile? Thinking about where we've come.

....


We don't have a lot of money. We don't have a lot of things. There are days where we just don't have a clue. Yet, somehow, we make it work. It's the simple things in our days that get us by, and what mean the most. We try to make the most out of our experiences, no matter how trying, or frustrating, or tiring it might get sometimes. And we have fun. Lots of fun. And we never let a day go by without -

a smile.

2011

When Phaeton asked me if we'd be staying up to ring in the New Year, I said, "Nah." Then Adeleigh farted. Now she's asleep. And Phaeton, with his headphones on, is dictating a play-by-play of some teenage-slasher-comedy flick he's watching on the laptop. I'm still awake, sitting next to the singing sock monkey that has taught Adeleigh the supreme power of screaming at the top of her lungs. I kind of want to squeeze the button on his hand right now, but I think that, along with the fireworks shooting outside, would give Rico a heart attack. So, I guess we're going to bed soon. But first, I need to reminisce about some of the defining moments of this past year.

January 1, 2011, New Year's Day. I don't remember that far back, so I asked Phaeton. His response, "Now this kid just fell into a woodchipper."
(sigh)

January
I found Phaeton a new job possibility at Starbucks. He applied and within a week, received an offer for Store Manager.

February
Phaeton started his new gig. The whole family was relieved and excited about the change.
Also, in February, I tried to get into couponing and visited a site that reeked havoc on our computer. We bought our first anti-virus software and paid hundred of dollars to retrieve all of the Adeleigh photos and documents off our old hard drive. Phaeton banned me from couponing because of the irony that in trying to save us money, it ended up costing us a fortune.

Springtime
We discovered the importance and happiness in swinging!

Adeleigh started eating solids, sitting up, and becoming more mobile. She also got to meet her Aunt Lori and cousins, Emily, Zach & Kara for the first time. I learned more about couponing the right way and started saving us hundreds of dollars on our grocery and household items.

Summertime
Adeleigh's personality really started to show.

She started crawling and like her Momma, learned how to eat like a lady.

She had her first trip to the zoo. Met her Uncle Bryce for her first time. Nana visited from Costa Rica. She ate her first chocolate cupcake and showed off her glorious belly for her first time at the pool.

She took her first bath in the big kid's tub. She played with all of her cousins at the first family reunion. She took her first train ride, saw her first butterfly, crawled on the grass. I went part-time at work to spend more time with her and found a new hobby in blogging. Adeleigh turned one! And she took more interest in the pets.

September

Baby's First Rockies Game for Daddy's Birthday

Adeleigh learned how to walk and soon after, run! She also learned how to bite.

October
Adeleigh's first haunted house and first time trick-or-treating.

The Holidays
Adeleigh's first balloon animal and Thanksgiving with the family.
Christmas fun and new hat and mittens for the snow.

It's been a fun, eventful, challenging and rewarding year. And we have some pretty monumental goals for the New Year.
First on my 2012 agenda, find a new career path. I'm ready to explore new and exciting opportunities. Phaeton wants to get his book published. His first draft is finished as of 5 hours ago, for those of you waiting to read it. A family goal is to move into a bigger home, so the monkey can have her own room. Us too :)

We both managed to make it til the ball dropped. Seconds before Ryan Seacrest asked, "Who will you be kissing?" I ran over to a half-asleep husband, sat on his lap and kissed him. He said, "Auld Lang Syne, Honey." I said, "What does that even mean?" He said, "I don't know, it's just what you say right now."
It's going to be a great year.

Happy 2012!

The Santa thing

This is the second Christmas in a row, the second out of two Christmases of Adeleigh's life, that we've not gone to see Santa Claus. Last year I don't even remember our excuse, but we justified it by saying that she doesn't know the difference at four months old. Besides, there's always next year. Because what awful parent wouldn't take their child to see Santa at least once before she's two? But just so we had a photo for her first Christmas with the dude, we pulled this together last-minute:

Then, we hurried and shoved Santa in the closet because Adeleigh's cousin was afraid of him.

It's Christmas Eve and we've done it again. We had planned on going to the North Pole theme park outside of Colorado Springs with family earlier this month but cancelled because we all had colds and didn't think it wise to stand in 20 degree weather for two hours with a sick baby. We further justified it by assuming she'd be terrified of him anyway, since there was that one time she cried at a a man with a beard. So, here's what Phaeton came up with this year:

That's the Santa from Miracle on 34th Street. He looks friendly.
I guess there's always next year!




While perusing through last year's Holiday photos, I found this to smile about:

And this to giggle about:

Matching Snuggies!

Things we've learned

Becoming a parent is the most beautiful, rewarding, and one of the most terrifying things I've experienced. Before Adeleigh, I remember thinking, "How am I going to be a good Mom when I don't know a thing about children?" or "How am I ever going to have time to be an involved parent when I already feel like there aren't enough hours in a day to get everything done?"

Well, one of the beautiful things about becoming a parent, is that there are millions of other women & men who are parents too. And one of the best ways to learn, is by sharing ideas with each other. So with the accumulation of advice we've heard, the things we've tried, and learning the ways of our own daughter, we've been able to make mothering & fathering our own. We've learned many things from other parents in our lives and hopefully been able to offer a thing or two for someone else.

Here are a few words of wisdom we've learned from others (along with a few experiences of our own) that have helped us along the way:

• Put a clean diaper down before pulling away the dirty one. -Denise
• Wrap Baby's crib with 2 layers of mattress covers and sheets. That way, if your baby leaks in the night, just pull the first layer off and you don't have to re-make the bed at 2 a.m. -Amy
• Buy a swaddling blanket with velcro on the sides if you have an escape-artist baby, like Adeleigh-Houdini. -Nikki
• Craigslist and hand-me-downs are a beautiful thing. -Autumn, Andrea & Amy
• It IS possible to travel abroad with a toddler. -Kristen  (We're working on making this happen.)
• Buy a portable Dvd player for long trips. -Rachael (Or just buy a mini-van equipped with TV screens. -Pete & Ellie)
• Tamanu oil works great for eczema and diaper rashes. -lady at Vitamin Cottage
• The Bumpo still fits! - Autumn
• Though time-consuming and messy, Pomegranates are special, and deserve to be eaten. -Julie
• While still at the hospital, shove as many newborn diapers in your bag as possible EVERY DAY! The cart gets replenished daily and nobody's keeping track. -our Baby class instructor, Kelly
• Girl time is essential for the soul. -Julie & Jessica
• It's okay for me to take the baby to daycare on my day off so that I can get a massage, pedicure or just go back to bed. -Sabrina
• My child is not the only one that rarely sleeps through the night. -Lyndsey, Julie, Amy, Autumn...
• It's okay for me to feel like I just don't have a clue what I'm doing sometimes. -Autumn & Julie
• It's normal to be so consumed in adjusting to motherhood, that you feel like you don't have time for much else. -Jessica, Amy & Julie
• I can be a devoted, committed mother and go back to work. -Caitlin, Amy, Andrea, Val, Jen, Lyndsey, Ellie, Lysette
• It's possible to create a make-shift crib on the floor using baby gates, blankets, a King-size bed with pillows shoved underneath and a baby monitor. -Danny & Phaeton (Not sure a doctor would recommend this one.)
• It's okay to hire a babysitter and go on a date every once in awhile. -Jen & Mom
• Buy 2 Boppy pillows. One to sit on and one for nursing. -Nurse Janelle
• Even though strawberries are in all kinds of baby food products, don't give them to your baby before age one. Strawberries have a high allergen level for infants. -Dr. L
• It's not necessary to treat every fever Baby has. A fever is a baby's natural reaction to fighting off infection. -Dr. L
• Even after 12 weeks of maternity leave, it's okay to feel like you and your baby still aren't on a routine. -Amy & Andrea
• You really can make it work with a dog, a cat and a baby in a one-bedroom condo. You can also love it. :)
• Sleep when Baby sleeps. Laundry and dishes can wait. But us Mommas need to keep our sanity. -Jen
• Accept help when it is offered. If it isn't offered when you need it, don't be afraid to ask for it. -Jen
• If you need to take a shower, call Samantha and she'll watch the baby. -Samantha
• When Baby is having a meltdown in the grocery store, odds are, the only one it's stressing out is you. -Dr. H
• A dust-buster is a smart thing to add to your Baby Registry.
• Fenugreek is the wonder-herb for helping produce milk. (I had best results with the liquid-filled caplets.) You know it's working if you smell like maple syrup. -Amy 
• Zip-up robes/mumus come in very useful when nursing. -Jessica  (I might also suggest having a few on-hand in case these become a common wardrobe choice while at home.)
• Though absolutely delicious, tuna sandwiches should be enjoyed in moderation while pregnant and nursing. -Dr. L, Dr. H, Nurse Brenda, Midwife Kelly, on-call doctor, the deli-clerk at Whole Foods (I asked a lot of people about this one and kept receiving a similar response.)
• If you're not satisfied with something someone tells you, it's okay to seek a 2nd, or 3rd opinion.
• There might be days where all your baby wants to eat is cheese. -Danny & Caitlin
• Even if you are having a summer baby, encourage your significant other to take sweats and a parka for the hospital stay. A woman in labor equals a room with the air-conditioning on maximum-freeze. -Phaeton
• It's not uncommon to receive unexpected hospital bills 15 months after your baby was born. (This justifies all the diapers and gluten-free brownies we pocketed during our stay.)
• Becoming a Mother transforms your identity. It changes you, in one of the most beautiful ways imagineable. -Mom, Lori, An, Amy, Julie & many other Moms I know
• Some babies don't like to put their feet on grass. -Pete

If you have any other tips you've found particularly useful, please share. We could use all the help we can get!

Thankful

Dear Adeleigh,

Your second Thanksgiving is just four days away, and there is much to be grateful for. In addition to the more identifiable things - like family, friends and good health - there are so many day-to-day blessings worth appreciating, whether it be a moment, a routine or just a feeling. So, if there's something I want you to always remember, not just around the Holidays, it's to count your blessings, no matter how small. Because they are plentiful.

• I'm thankful for the other Mommas in my life, including my own, who understand the daily joys and struggles of parenthood.
• I'm thankful for the women in my life who will be Mommas, for bringing some much needed love, beauty and innocence into this crazy world.
• I'm thankful for your Daddy, and for mine, for teaching (and most importantly showing) us ladies respect, appreciation and love.
• I'm thankful that when I'm stressed, you furrow your brow and say, "Dop it." Thanks for reminding me that life is only as difficult as I make it.
• I'm thankful that you love me no matter my faults.
• I'm thankful that when I sing or hum, you smile at me, then join in.
• I'm thankful to Julie and Chris for the Diaper Genie 2 Elite. Who knew there was something more supreme than the Diaper Genie 1?!
• I'm thankful for Netflix, for distracting you while I clip your nails.
• I'm thankful for the little reminders I get of you while I'm at work - like the half-eaten cookie buried crumbling in the bottom of my purse, your toy cell phone resting next to mine, or the lone sock I've found in my sweater pocket during a meeting.
• I'm thankful to have someone to trust you with when I can't be there.
• I'm thankful that you run to greet me when I walk in the front door. You always know just what I need.
• I'm thankful for the mornings to enjoy banana pancakes and Elmo with you.
• I'm thankful when you lay your head on my chest, even if it is just to suck on my zipper.
• I'm thankful for your perfect raspberry-blowing belly. And for your adorable raspberry-blowing-inflicted belly laugh.
• I'm thankful for the mornings where I wake up to you giggling and jumping on your bed. I don't need coffee those days :)
• I'm thankful that you rub your little feet against me while relaxing on my lap.
• I'm thankful for your purity.
• When I leave the room, I'm thankful that you follow me, even if it takes you twice as long to get there.
• I'm thankful that when you're playing on the opposite side of the room, you drag your toys over, plop on the floor next to me and continue playing.
• I'm thankful that you need me, because I need you too.

The last 15 months of my life has been the most defining, gratifying time of my 27 years so far. I have you to thank for that. And in that time, you've taught me just as much, if not more than I've taught you. Thank you, Adeleigh for choosing your Daddy and me to bless. You know we couldn't have it any other way.

Photo by Jessica Loucks 

Trick-and-Treat

I've often heard Phaeton talk about the interesting tradition surrounding Halloween - dress up in a costume, go door to door, say 3 little words which threaten to impose mischief or harm to people's property, and get rewarded with sugar. I've always found it interesting that to some, Halloween is viewed as a day to wear as little clothing as possible on one of the coldest nights of the season. But that's not what this post is about.
For Adeleigh's 1st walking Halloween, we took her to the city "Where the geese fly, and the bulls cry" (also known as the little town about 15 miles east, Severance). We wanted Adeleigh to go trick-or-treating with her 3-year-old cousin, Ashton (also known as Superman). We dressed her up in her Duck sweatsuit, grabbed her pink pumpkin bucket and headed out the door. She loved knocking on each house's door and loved greeting the neighbors. We'd tell her to say "Trick-or-Treat" which came out as "Ahh-doo" with a smile, and always elicited candy in her pumpkin. But to Adeleigh, the concept of collecting as many sweets as possible hadn't fully registered. After a few pieces were collected, and we were greeted at the door by someone new, Adeleigh pulled her gifted candy out of the bucket and offered it to the next neighbor. This always generated a giggle or two and the response of "You can keep your candy, and I'll give you a few more!" This happened a few times before she (and we!) began reveling in the abundance of chocolate. And then we realized, that our giving little girl, on her very first night of Trick-or-Treating, had mastered the art of tricking the neighbors into giving her extra treats! Atta girl!

My little teenager

Every morning when I drop Adeleigh off at daycare, I find myself lingering around, squeezing in as many hugs and kisses until the last possible minute before the work day. The routine usually consists of her walking back and forth between me and the toys about three times before I'm satisfied enough to finally peel myself away and leave.
She's been reaching all kinds of milestones recently, growing up faster than I'm prepared for. Crawling is too 1990's for her, she's now a speed walker. She speaks sentences, saying "Tee-too, Momma" (Thank you) or "I yuh-oo" (I love you) or "bi-do-rar-na-dee" (?????)
Last week at daycare, we reached a new milestone together. I was doing my usual linger, talking to our daycare lady, while Adeleigh was playing on the other side of the room with the toys. In behind me walked Adeleigh's little friend who's two months younger than she is. All the adults in the room froze as my daughter let out the loudest, shrillest, excited scream and we stood there and watched as her little legs hurried her cute little body across the room to the front door. I saw this as my opportunity to squeeze in my last morning hug and bent down with arms open wide as my smiley girl came running towards me. Only, she wasn't running towards me. She was aiming for her friend. And Momma was so in the way. So, Adeleigh put her chubby little hand up, placed it against the center of my face and pushed me out of the way. Now the adults were standing there in horror, watching, wondering what was going to happen next. Wondering if I was going to burst into tears. I didn't. But, Adeleigh didn't stop there. She proceeded to put her hand on the half-open door where I was standing, and tried to push it shut. I took the hint and stepped outside, pulling the door shut all the way. I watched through the door window as she, now that Mom was gone, could finally hang out with her friend and go flirt with boys.
While many other babies Adeleigh's age are experiencing separation-anxiety, clutching on tight to their mothers, my baby has decided to skip that fun kid phase and become a fourteen-year-old. Maybe she's ready for me to drop her off two blocks away from daycare, so she can walk herself and not look totally uncool kissing Mom goodbye? I am definitely not prepared for that. Maybe I should commend her sense of independence. Or maybe, when she's fourteen, I'll remember that one day at daycare. And when I drop her off two blocks away from high-school, I'll speed ahead and meet her at the entrance when she's with all her friends, curlers in my hair and say, "Honey, you forgot your lunch and your paci. And don't forget, after school we have fingerpainting class. I yuh-oo. Bi-do-rar-na-dee!"

Lovey

Long before Phaeton and I were planning our own children, our friends and family members were basking in the love and joy of parenthood. For years, every time someone we knew had a baby, we had our staple gift that we'd give: a Ty Pluffie stuffed animal (with sewn eyes, not button) and a board book. Both Phaeton and I worked for Barnes and Noble at the time, and both of these items were always plentiful in stock. Parents would report to us how much Baby loved cuddling with the Pluffie's soft fur. Our nephew, Ashton's animal was a Dalmatian dog named Dot who quickly became his "lovey". My sister Amy, and her husband Pat, stocked up for the years to come to ensure there would always be a clean Dot around.

Our nephew, Ashton at 14 months old, fast asleep with Dot.

When we found out we were expecting, we knew we needed to find an animal for our baby to fall in love with. Phaeton was still working for Barnes, so I made him promise he'd buy at least 3 of my favorite giraffe Pluffies, to hopefully become our baby's lovey. We'd keep one at daycare, one at home, and one in case of emergencies. There was one problem: Barnes and Noble recently stopped carrying Ty Pluffie toys. So I got online, made a ton of phone calls and found the local Motherhood Maternity had one more giraffe in stock. I figured that'd at least hold us over until Adeleigh arrived. I made them hold it for me and rushed over to buy it. My excitement quickly turned to sadness when I discovered that the one and only giraffe had button eyes. Worried of the choking hazard, I begged the sales lady to order me a giraffe with the sewn-on eyes. She probably thought I was nuts, but checked anyway and found Pluffies no longer available to order. What was on the sales floor was the last of the product they would carry - for - ev - er. I stood there for about 10 minutes looking down at the giraffe, his button eyes watching the lone tear that ran down my cheek, while Michael Bolton's "How am I supposed to live without you" played overhead. Then, I placed him back among his zoo Pluffie friends. Bye, bye forever Giraffe. I hope you find a happy home where the children won't choke on your eyes.

I was on a mission. Now on to Plan C. I got back online and after hours and hours of searching, found out that Ty stopped making Pluffies with sewn-on eyes. I found a lady on eBay who had stocked up on these Pluffies and had four giraffes left in stock. Smart lady she was. It's funny how when someone stops making something, it instantly costs three times the original price tag to purchase. My original $7.99 obsession became a $20 inconvenience. I sat in front of the computer, switching the Quantity back and forth between one and three...one, no three. No, Phaeton will flip if I spend $60 on three of the same stuffed animal. But what if we buy one, it gets dirty, and we have to endure 45 minutes of uncontrollable screaming while it's in the washing machine? Three. But what if she doesn't even consider it her lovey, then I will have wasted 60 precious dollars on a dumb toy?

I bought one. Then I found an online retailer with the button-eyed Pluffies for $4 each. I figured if we have a meltdown while Thread Eyes is bathing, Button Eyes will hold us over in the short run. So, I bought two, just in case. After inspecting them, I realized the button eyes aren't going anywhere. I think they are quadruple-sewn in. So, my choking hazard neurosis was completely unwarranted and not necessary. Then, with the help of Shay, I named them all Raffee. Adeleigh was going to appreciate the headache Raffee inflicted on Mommy because of how awesome, and soft, and not a choking hazard Raffee was! I had it all planned out.

Its funny how no matter what possibilities you plan and prepare for; you never really know what the future holds. I've learned time and time again, I can't force something to be, just because that's what I planned. So, no matter how much I tried making Raffee Adeleigh's lovey, she just wasn't ever that attached to him. She didn't mind his presence, but that sense of longing and needing him wasn't quite as apparent as I had anticipated. Pacifiers on the other hand - those have become a hot commodity in the Gaglio household. If there's a paci anywhere within 10 feet of Adeleigh's face, she'll find it. She'll double fist her pacis and switch every few minutes, just to keep it interesting. And fortunately, the paci she's attached to costs about $4 for a 2-pack, so replenishing our stock doesn't break the bank.

So here we were, with 2 extra Raffees sitting in their bags, un-needed and un-loveyed in the closet. Life goes on. More babies are born. So, out come the giraffes into baby gift bags, given to other adorable children, in other homes, where they hopefully will be loved.



And then, for the first time the other night, I saw the sweetest thing. And every night and naptime since, I've caught the two of them snuggling close, clutching on tight to one another. So I guess after a year of having her one and only Raffee lingering around, she's grown to love him more than I'd realized.

Michael Bolton's "How am I supposed to live without you" played overhead.