And they meet

Merry Christmas!

Love, Adeleigh & Kris Kringle

Let's go do something really good

The night of the Newtown tragedy, our family went out to eat. As we were getting ready to leave the restaurant, Adeleigh approached a young boy, smiled and waved at him. He looked up at me and smiled, "She's really nice."
"Thank you. You're really nice too."
"Thanks.........So, my mom was just telling me about the school shooting that happened today."
"Yeah. That's really sad, isn't it."
"Yeah......She also told me about Mitzvahs."
"Oh? What's a Mitzvah?"
"It's a Jewish thing. It's when something awful happens and then you go out and do something really good for the world."


Good idea.

Shouldn't

I can't bring myself to do it - to watch the news. Normally, in times of tragedy, my eyes are glued to the TV, waiting to hear the latest updates.
But, this time.....is different.
When I first learned about the Connecticut tragedy, my heart (physically) hurt. I hung up the phone, put on my coat, left work and called daycare.
"I know she's just fine, Breena. But I just heard about the news and I need you to tell me, 'she's just fine'."
I ended my voicemail and sat in silence in the car until she called me back.

I see the list of victim's names. I see photos and posts about those who were lost. More than anything else, I see the articles and posts about gun laws....
I can't hear about this and help but think that clearly, something is corrupt. We shouldn't have to fear going about our daily lives. We shouldn't have to fear allowing our children to go about theirs. We shouldn't have to feel like our best and safest defense is arming ourselves with (and against) the very thing that we fear.
We shouldn't have to fear one another.

Yet, so many of us do. And yet, tragedies like this keep happening. And the unthinkable just keeps getting more and more.....real.

My heart hurts for those families. My heart hurts for those living with the memories, with that fear, with that sadness. And more than anything else, my heart hurts that too many more parents don't get to snuggle extra close to their little ones tonight.

Someone

This week,

I was reminded of how much I dislike ironing.
I learned that I do deserve to buy myself a new scarf this winter.
I learned that my daughter likes to floss her teeth more than she likes to brush them.
I was introduced to gluten free pumpkin chocolate chip muffins.
I gained 5 pounds.
I learned that Adeleigh is capable of staying at our table while we're out to dinner.
I discovered that there is a sippy cup that doesn't leak.
And this week,
I learned how fragile life can be. And that someone, or some few, really are watching over us.

I'm hugging my husband extra close these days.

When life hands you a booger

sometimes you just need to pick it -

Photo by Jessica Loucks

One more?

This evening, we promised Adeleigh we would go to the toy store a.k.a. Barnes & Noble if she stopped whining. Conveniently, after 3+ hours of whining, she stopped.

After a few minutes of playing with the train set, we heard Christmas carols coming from across the store. Adeleigh dropped Thomas the Train, turned to us, and with wide eyes shrieked, "Follow me!" She ran to the opposite end of the store. When she found a resting spot with a perfect view of the Colorado Youth Chorale, Adeleigh grew the biggest grin. She started singing along and swaying back and forth. Then, the lady sitting next to us gave her some jingle bells to play with while the choir sang. Adeleigh's grin grew wider. After each song, Adeleigh would turn to me and ask, "Mommy, one more?" And I'd reply, "Yes, Adeleigh. They are going to sing another one."
Then the Choir Director announced their last song of the evening. Adeleigh played her bells throughout and when the singing was complete, turned to me.
"Mommy, one more?"
I replied, "You know what, Adeleigh? They are all done singing for the evening. But, wasn't that fun?"
Adeleigh's response, "One more?"
"No, Sweetie. They're all done for now."

She didn't like my answer. So, she decided to take matters into her own hands. I have never seen a 2-year-old jump down from her chair so fast. She walked right up to the front of the choir, stood in front of a group of giggling girls and asked, "One more?"
One of the gals announced, "Okay, we're singing one more song for this little girl! What song would you like?"
Adeleigh rang her bells.
"Jingle Bells it is!"
And the singing resumed, while Adeleigh excitedly rang her bells.

I'm officially in the Holiday spirit.

Thankful for this

In preparation of Thanksgiving, I've been reminded of all I have to be grateful for.

I have a wonderful family, the best (and coolest) friends a girl could ever ask for, and a pretty awesome new pink hair dryer. Though it's small, my family has a roof over our heads. And though many of them are either worn or affordable, we have clothing on our backs. If there's one thing we let ourselves splurge on a little, it's food for our bellies. And while it can get a little stressful and hard to juggle at times, we both have jobs that we love.

We didn't achieve all of the goals we set out to accomplish this year, but we've made quite a bit of progress. We lost a dear loved one, but we know that she's not far away. We've had a few setbacks, a few struggles, a few disappointments. But there is so much to be thankful for.

In thinking of this moment, of all that I have surrounding me, I'm just feeling very grateful for this - for now. For everything that has happened that has led me to this moment - and to this one-

I think of all that I have experienced in my 28 years of life - from childhood to college to marriage to motherhood. So much change, so much discovery, so much heartache, and so much happiness throughout. Each moment of the last 28 years has shaped who I am. Every passing minute shapes who I am becoming. Sometimes I look back to all of those defining moments of my life, to all of those unplanned bumps in the road, and sometimes I wonder how my life would be different if [insert defining moment] hadn't happened, or if I had done it differently. And without fail, I'm brought back to today - to now - to my daughter singing songs while painting the coffee table with her markers - to my husband grinding coffee and talking about how much he loves his slippers - to the dog with a sensitive diet, patiently waiting for someone to drop something yummy onto the floor - to the cat scratching the upholstery off the recliner that my parents loaned us....

And though that last one makes me crazy sometimes, and though it may not be easy or perfect all the time -

I'm thankful for this moment - 

and this one - 

Because it feels pretty close to perfect to me.

Trick-or-----May I please come in?

For Halloween this year, the future mayor of Fort Collins dressed up as a dragon. Trick-or-Treating was her time to mingle, to get to know her neighbors, pet their dogs, play with their watering cans on the deck, throw their basketballs around in the driveway, help herself into their homes, and stare at their scary decorations. And in between each house, she'd pause, inspect her new treat and then run as fast as her little dragon legs could take, while screaming flames of joy at the excitement of it all.

Adeleigh and Ashton

Making friends

Making sure that the goblin decoration doesn't come any closer....

What an adventure.

Milestones

When you become a parent, you spend so much time celebrating your little one's milestones - both small and significant. You look forward to seeing your child reach every new phase of development. You wonder what she'll accomplish tomorrow -

And then she says her first word.

She takes her first steps. 

Cuts her first tooth. 

Sleeps through the night. 

Then she imitates a monkey. 

And celebrates a birthday.

She uses the potty.

She brings home the artwork she created that day. 

And when you ask her to hand you the orange crayon, after scanning a sea of colors, she hands you the orange crayon. 

Then she answers your question with a statement. Carries on a conversation with you. She tells you that "I sleep okay, Mom." And "I'm carrying clothes to Breena's."

Next, she actually seems okay with you walking out the door at daycare. Because she knows now, that you'll be back.

And when you ask her if she'd like to sit on your lap, she tells you "No, thank you" and finds a resting place sitting inside the laundry basket across the room from you.

Bittersweet.

It's all a natural progression of life. Of learning new things. Of becoming independent, and strong. Yet, sometimes I just want to slow it all down.

She's growing up so fast. I think faster than I'm prepared for. And I have to work on reaching some milestones of my own. Some have come more naturally. Some with a fair bit of struggle, and tears. Some are still a work in progress. But just as my little girl's milestones have resulted in a great deal of cognizance and awareness, the milestones we reach as parents deserve their own applause. Or at the very least, a high-five - 

Not that long ago, after being so nervous and unsure of how to even hold a baby, I held her in my arms.

I changed a diaper....successfully. 

I gave her my first bath that didn't end in tears. 

It took awhile, but I took her to a friend's house and actually went on a date with my husband. 

I prevented a temper tantrum and successfully used the power of redirection.

I kissed her owie all better.

I came to terms with the fact that I just can't be with her all day long. 

After over two years, I let that guilt go......

I re-learned how to find pleasure in the simplest things. 

I learned that my capacity to love is endless. 

And today, I learned that sitting in a laundry basket full of clothes on the other side of the room might, at times, be a better idea than sitting on the all-too-familiar, yet always available lap. 

At least she knows I'm close by.

Bittersweet.

A natural way to plumper lips

This evening I was hit in the lip by a golf ball.

I wish it was from some cool story of riding in a cart on my way to the 9th hole; wearing plaid shorts and a pink polo, cardi around my shoulders; with a drink in my hand, teeth-bearing grin on my face; laughing at some ridiculously intellectual joke that my clubhouse friend said.
It wasn't.

Let me explain -
When we take Adeleigh on walks, one of her favorite things to do is to find a rock, wash it and add it to her toy collection. A few months ago, while poking through her favorite rock pile in search of the best one, Adeleigh found the roundest, most unique looking rock of the bunch - a golf ball.
We added it to her suitcase of random toys and every once in awhile, it would come out and we'd roll it across the floor to one another. Phaeton and I thought we had made it abundantly clear that, just like her rocks that she had collected, we don't throw the golf ball.
Well, if you've ever had a 2-year-old, you know that sometimes kids don't listen...

So, this evening, I was hit in the lip by a golf ball.

It was one of those moments where it hurt so bad, that all my brain could think of to do was cry. Which then made Adeleigh cry. And Daddy put her in time-out.
After a few minutes, I was greeted by a teary 2-year-old holding an icy teething ring. She crawled up on my lap, told me she was sorry 10 times, kissed my lip all better and held her teething ring up to my face. I couldn't help but give her a hug. Then she said "I love you, Mom. No throwing."

If you've ever had a 2-year-old, you've learned how quickly you can make amends. You can't stay upset for too long when they do something they shouldn't. Especially when you feel that they have genuinely learned the lesson. But you can try and keep it from happening again.
So, this evening, the golf ball found its new home among other random things -
in the trash can.

_________________________


Here's one thing she can throw -