A dear friend messaged me this morning to tell me that her only time to shower is after midnight, after her 2 kids are in bed. All I could think was,
OMG. I have to try that.
This morning, after having skipped yesterday's, I "attempted" a shower. Here's how it went:
"Hey Adeleigh! I'm jumping in the shower and Atticus is upstairs with me. I'm going to close the baby gate. Do you want to come up too or hang out with Daniel Tiger?
"I'll stay here, Mom!"
Cool.
I shut the gate and started the water, shut the doors to the rooms with potential hazards for kids, and pulled out some books and toys off the kid's shelves to try and keep Atticus entertained.
I hopped in the shower as Atticus walked into the bathroom behind me. Ten seconds in, I peeked out to see the entire roll of toilet paper strewn across the ground. Twenty seconds in, I heard him rustling underneath the cabinets.
We really need to babyproof in here. (By "we", I mean "Phaeton".)
Thirty seconds in, I felt a breeze as the curtain was opened and Atticus peeked in with a grin. Then he threw the lint roller into the shower and it made a loud noise. He liked that.
I grabbed it and handed it back to him, only to have him shake off the water and throw it back into the shower. So, we played "fetch" with the lint roller. He'd throw it in the shower, point to it until I picked it up, then I'd throw it soaking wet into the hallway. He giggled and ran after it. That lasted 2 minutes.
Next, he pointed to the bar of soap that I was currently using on my armpits. "You can't play with this. I am using it right now. Where is the lint roller?"
He screamed and his face got red as he pointed to the soap again.
"No thank you."
His screams got louder and his face got redder.
Ugh. Fine. I handed him the soap. It was so slippery, I figured just trying to pick it up might keep him entertained for a few minutes. He grabbed it from me, no trouble, and walked out.
I stood in the running water for thirty seconds or so when I started to question his whereabouts with my soap.
"Atticus?! Where are you? Come back here please!"
He walked in with the bar of soap, wearing one of those guilty grins.
"Atticus? What did you do?" He started to gag. I gave him a second before getting my hand ready for the mouth sweep/bite down, but he swallowed it. Then he grinned at me again, pointed to the soap and yelled.
"Um, no thanks." And I put it up high.
I felt relieved that he didn't choke and then I started to question if I needed to call Poison Control. I remembered when Ralphie from A Christmas Story had soap in his mouth and he was fine. Then after evaluating my soap for bite marks, I found it was completely intact, minus a small little shaving. He'll be fine. It's Dove.
I began to question if I had time to wash my hair when I heard the baby gate shaking. Adeleigh wanted upstairs.
Ugh. I turned off the water, grabbed my towel, let her in and took off Atticus' sopping wet, soapy clothes.
Maybe I'll try again at midnight.